Pain: How it came about
Pain, it comes in two forms: Emotional and Physical. Well, both hurts but one is unseen by others and only those who truly care can see it.
I had conversations with some 'musicians-to-be' friends quite a while ago. I found out that in general, these people (can I include myself too?) tend to have higher chances of having this thought:
My life is kinda complete. But there's just something missing, something just feel not right.. It hurts..
Okay, I wouldn't say my life is complete now. Actually in fact, it is of total opposite. No career, no love life, and also a number of unsettled things within the family. Well, you must be thinking, what on earth am I doing? You can say I am quite a failure in nowadays term. Thank God that I am still alive, probably He thinks I still have some values to contribute to the society and I have not given up on searching the meaning of life.
Note: I am not self-pitying myself, but being honest about my difficulties of the present moment.
Self-pity is closed-off, self-centered and is about replaying your hurts and picking at your wounds. Acknowledging pain is about opening up, without resistance, and staying open.
Often, many mistaken the creative people (musicians/singers/performers) as extroverts. Well again, it is quite the opposite. It is true that performers enjoy to have that few minutes of interactions with huge crowds but deep down we re-charge ourselves by having quality time with ourselves or with love ones. We sometimes being judged as 'The one who likes to show-off', 'The one who gets dragged by fame' etc. This is what my friend told me:
Sometimes I feel that I'm only good at posting stuffs to give people the impression that I'm good but I'm actually very shitty inside
I have the exact feelings. We are so conscious about everything, the surroundings, the people, the judgements and thank God, the sound, too. Being very conscious and cautious sometimes lead us to have too many thoughts in mind. It is so complex that I do not understand it myself either. To summarise it, let's call it, pain.
Pain: Freeing from it
How to deal with pain? Commonly, many would suggest:
1. Get drowned in music
This is normally the first option the creative minds turn to, however, I feel worse after doing that every time. It is like a huge black hole, sucking in all my emotions and left me with 'more' emptiness.
2. Stay positive
I kinda hate it when people tell me that or how I try to remind myself with. How on Earth can I stay positive when I am not?
I think this works for a while. I would go slightly extreme to feel the physical pain of my muscles. Curing pain with pain?
4. Laughing at comedy shows/movies
This made me feel like a clown sometimes, laughing loudly in front of the TV screen just to cover up the dark sides of me.
All these suggestions have one main issue:
Running away from pain. They only provide instant relief. The pain will return, it does not leave.
What I find most useful to deal with pain is by dealing with pain upfront. Acknowledge the existence of pain itself is a huge step forward. Writing it out helps a lot too. So here goes:
Hello Pain. Hello shitty day. You are here again. Yes, I don't like you cause you are making me feeling a little uneasy. It's okay that you are here. I am not gonna pretend that you don't exist. Instead, I am gonna be friends with you. Let's have a cup of tea.
There goes my peaceful moments with pain. Have a great day!
Call me G :)
Hi, my name is Jyi. I am the founder and engineer for JYISMUSIC! I help people produce their favourite songs/covers as well as provide services to companies like Mediacorp! Besides, music, I share things I like, such as food, travel, and some financial/investment tips I read :)
Do you have music projects you wanna discuss with me?